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I Call It Assertive
It is my understanding that when I got married, God was still a child. Well, it was a really long time ago anyway. Back then you got married because that's what women did. They got married, had kids, raised them, and then, went through empty nest syndrome, menopause, and death, not necessarily in that order.
Today, you can get married, or not, have kids, or not, and you don't even have to be married to have kids. I wonder if my mom knew about that? Anyway times, and attitudes have changed. But, I wonder to what degree.
I got married to get out of my Dad's house, and then spent the next 30 years wanting to get away from my husband. Now that I am, I have come to the conclusion that I am a runner, maybe a very slow runner, but a runner all the same.
This year I decided to stand up for my rights as a woman, a human being, well, as a person. Yup, you got it. Now, I have been accused of being a bitch. Maybe I was a tad bit overbearing,,,grins,,, and maybe assertive was more like aggressive, (they both start with the letter A), but hey, how's a girl supposed to learn, even if it's been years since the girl was actually a girl. I guess it's back to the drawing board for me.
And you thought all I knew how to do was complain about men. Well, HA! But, I did find a very cute joke that I would like to share with everyone. I think it's cute anyway.
GREAT FEMALE COMEBACKS
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized!"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?
Catch ya'll later
Candalee
The Unrelationship Expert
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