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Language Lessons : For When Your Mom Dies by Mary Clare Griffin

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Book Description

Mary Clare's nephew, Griffin, was born with cancer. Within a few weeks, Mary Clare's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Griffin died a few months after he was born; Mary Clare's mother died two years after being diagnosed.

Mary Clare Griffin is an exceptionally vibrant woman, determined to heal, willfully living a passionate existence. She has courageously triumphed over the undiluted tragedies she chronicles in her memoir entitled, LANGUAGE LESSONS (For When Your Mom Dies). It is a gorgeously artistic mosaic of estrangement, love, fear, despair, hope, determination, vulnerability, and will power - each element written rhythmically in tune with the subject matter.

In the "Preface," Mary Clare prepares the reader for the raw truth of her journey and encourages hope in the healing that eventually triumphs over suffering. She goes on to narrate what she could find no book to prepare her for - what she experienced in the final hours of her mother's life. She then rewinds to three years previous to her mother's death and narrates a family "reunion" that epitomizes what seemed to be insurmountable barriers between her and the rest of her family, and most poignantly between Mary Clare her mother.

Mary Clare's own diaries make up the bulk of this memoir. Chronicled in these pages are words written with desperate immediacy - written in the moment, untainted, undiluted. Woven into these pages is the journey towards reconciliation with her mother, the petty concerns of her high-profile clients (she is also a professional chef) juxtaposed with her bare survival needs, her relationship with her therapist who confesses instead to wanting to be her lover, a friendship ruined through her own vulnerability, and the releasing and healing of her memories of abuse as an infant. Rather than dwelling in pain, however, Mary Clare moves forward and reflects on the meaning of the suffering she has witnessed and endured, the question of time and how we perceive it, and the language of healing.

Mary Clare is soulfully adventurous in her search for a language that adequately articulates the tragedy of cancer, the undiluted truth about grieving, and the capsules of hope found in serendipitous moments and compassionate people. Writing LANGUAGE LESSONS is what made Mary Clare's life begin to work again. Reading her story, written with such graceful courage, will surely make each of our lives work - again and a little better.

From the Back Cover

"Part journal, part poem, part prayer, LANGUAGE LESSONS is an intimate and incandescent portrait of a young woman coming to terms with herself and her family. Mary Clare Griffin writes with grace and courage about estrangement, reconciliation and the ultimate survival of love." - Molly Giles, Pulitzer Prize nominee and award-winning author of Rough Translations and Creek Walk and other stories

Nothing prepared Mary Clare for the unraveling she faced when her mother died. Despite her efforts, the pieces continued to fall apart. Emotionally and mentally shipwrecked without a life boat in sight, she was overwhelmed with feelings of isolation and despair. After searching in vain for something to keep her afloat, Mary Clare turned inward and discovered her own strength, finding that the only way to survive was to teach herself to live. Language Lessons is her story, written with the dense immediacy that most honestly captures raw suffering. But she doesn't leave us there. With the same undiluted truthfulness, Mary Clare brings herself, and each of us, through the struggle with grief into a victorious glimpse of hope.

This is her story. It is what made her life work again. Written with courageous honesty, it lends a hand in making our lives work - again and a little better.

About the Author

Mary Clare Griffin graduated from California State University with a BA in Journalism, then from San Francisco State University with an MA in Creative Writing. Since then, she has worked as a free-lance writer, an editor, and a professional chef. In addition, she has shared her passion for writing with others while teaching writing at the College of Southern Idaho and teaching literacy in the Alameda County jails. Presently, she lives in Idaho.