Whispers
Romance Books

Angel, Mine
by Deborah Milton

PROLOGUE

Everything had changed.

In that space between the end of one heartbeat and the start of the next, my whole world had changed. It had changed and I didn't even have time to take a breath.

My hands, gripping the telephone, trembled uncontrollably.

Gwen's voice sounded small and far away.

"Leukemia?"

"Yeah. Do you know anything at all about leukemia?"

"Actually, not a whole lot. I think it's some sort of cancer that affects the blood," Gwen stopped short. "Hey, Clare, why are you asking me this?"

I drew in a shaking breath.

"I just got off the phone with Dr. Blair. He wants me to bring Maggie over to the hospital for some tests."

"The hospital?"

"Yeah,"

"What kind of tests?"

"I'm not exactly sure. Some kind of blood tests."

Gwen was quiet for a moment, and, then, asked very softly, "He couldn't possibly think she has leukemia, could he?"

I took another deep breath, trying to steady my nerves. "He said he was hoping these other tests will prove him wrong, but.."

I could feel the silence through the telephone receiver. It was a silence that I would come to know well over the next several months. I closed my eyes against the loudness of it.

I heard Gwen's careful breathing as she chose her next words. I think the fact that Gwen was having trouble finding her voice scared me more than had the doctor's call.

I held my breath, willing her to speak.

As if sensing my growing dread, she finally said, "Well, that's ridiculous! It's gotta be just some dumb virus that won't go away. Here, let me look up leukemia in my book . I'll bet Maggie doesn't even have one of the symptoms."

I could already hear her flipping through the pages of her medical encyclopedia.

"Okay. Let's see..uh..okay. Okay. Hives. Insomnia. Lactation." Gwen filled the silence with her litany, "Leprosy. Okay. Uh...here we are...Leukemia. Okay, it says here that it's a kind of cancer, something about the white blood cells and bone marrow, if left untreated it is usually..uh...okay. Symptoms are swollen lymph nodes, unusual bruising,"

I got the distinct impression that Gwen was leaving out volumes as she read, but I had heard enough. The numbness that had started in my chest spread to the rest of my body as my eyes took in Maggie's sleeping form. There were so many bruises! Until that very moment I had assumed that every two year old who spent most of her day trying to catch up to her big brother had bruises all over her legs and body.

Frozen with the receiver to my ear, suddenly, I knew. My daughter with the fair hair and an angel's face had leukemia.

Unbelievable! My baby really had leukemia.

I knew it then with a certainty in that place in my soul that every mother has. I knew it and, I realized as her voice continued to drone on, despite her protests to the contrary, Gwen knew it, too.

Copyright Deborah Milton