Whispers
Romance Books

It depends on where you live; the metropolitan areas of California and the Northeast are the most expensive, while the central mountain states (Montana, Nebraska, Utah, South Dakota, North Dakota, and Wyoming) are the least. According to a recent survey, however, the average cost of a wedding in the United States is approximately $19,500.

The reception food and drink are the highest expenses of any wedding, running from 30 to 50 percent of the total, depending on the size of the wedding. However, an average wedding costing $19,500 would break down like this:

Note: Every wedding is different; there are no set rules about expenditures. Many couples would prefer to spend less on the reception, for example, and use the savings for their honeymoon. Or the bride may fall in love with a $3,000 gown and squeeze that money out of the floral and music funds. It all depends on each couple’s priorities.

Before we get started on this lengthy list, let me say that who pays for what is no longer a hard, fast rule, especially with the enormous expenses involved with weddings today. With the exception that the groom usually pays for the bride’s rings, and the bride for the groom’s, all of the rest of the expenses may be shared. I’ve seen situations where the bride’s family was not in a financial position to pay for a large, expensive wedding, but the groom’s family was and they sincerely wanted to help out with the costs. With the right attitude on the part of everyone involved, this shouldn’t be a problem. I have seen other situations where a grandmother or aunt offered to pay for everything as a sort of pre-
inheritance gift. However, here is the traditional list of expenses expected to be paid by the bride’s family:

Rather than give you my personal suggestions, perhaps it would be more helpful (and encouraging) to you if I give you the actual cost breakdown of a wedding that took place recently in Butte, Montana, with 250 guests. First, I’ll list their actual expenses, and then I’ll tell you how they did it.

Bride’s gown: Sewn by a seamstress in Seattle.

Bride’s makeup: Done at no charge by a friend
of the bride.

Veil: The bride made it herself.

Shoes and hosiery: Purchased at a discount store.

Bridesmaids’ gowns: Bride split cost of renting them.

Attendants’ gifts: Shopped wisely and found
them for $20 each.

Minister’s fee: No charge (father of the bride).

Photography: Ordered a minimal package from a retired photographer and
supplemented it with photos
taken by the bride’s sister-in-law.

Wedding cake: Ordered from a woman who
makes cakes in her own home.

Videotaping: No charge (brother of the bride).

Caterer: A friend of the bride’s mother
who runs a catering service out
of her home, but only charged them her cost (as a wedding gift).

Musicians: Friends of the bride’s mother
who offered to perform for free
(bride bought thank you gifts).

Flowers: The bride made all the flower
arrangements, boutonnieres,
corsages, and bouquets months ahead of time in silks that she
purchased at a discount market.

Decorations: Used donated and borrowed
decorations and supplemented
with lots of balloons.

Although the wedding took place in Montana, most of the supplies were purchased in Seattle.

Every successful budget wedding has its own story, and I have received literally hundreds of them as brides and grooms have written to me after reading my books or attending my seminars. Obviously, in order to have a quality wedding on a small budget, you will need to do a lot of the work yourself, and you will also need the good fortune of having friends and family members willing to donate their time and talents. You might want to pick up a copy of my book How to Have a Big Wedding on a Small Budget, which will be a big help in keeping your costs down. The encouraging thing is that you can have a lovely wedding for $4,000, although your spending priorities may be quite different from the budget just described.