Now this is hardly earth shaking news. Yet how often do you feel that you are not really being heard? How often do you fail to really hear another person?

We are all very busy. We can get so wrapped up in our own thoughts and our own agendas that we fail to really hear the people around us. Their words often become just another part of the background noises that are consistently cluttering our brains. The messages they are carrying to us do not really impact our conscious thought.

You generally know when someone is not hearing what you are saying. How does it make you feel? You probably feel somewhat devalued. After all, you are essentially being ignored. Whatever you are saying is obviously not considered to be very important.

Depending on your style and your level of self-esteem, you may feel hurt or angry. It will have a negative impact on your relationship with the person to whom you are speaking. Of course if you happen to be the one who is not really hearing another person, your relationship-and possibly future business- will be adversely affected.

Many have observed that truly listening to another person is the most effective way we can show true love and respect for that person.

Think about it. Who are the people with whom you prefer to associate? I suspect that they are the ones who are the good listeners; the ones who really make you feel that you have been heard. On the other hand, you would probably be quite willing to avoid contact with those who rarely listen to you effectively.

Listening is an art that can be mastered. Many resources on effective listening are available. Here are just a few tips that can make a tremendous difference.

1. Focus your attention on the person speaking. Avoid using that time to formulate your response. After all, how can you respond to what is being said if you haven't heard it?

2. Ask questions to be sure that you understand what is being said. Feed back to the person what you have heard and verify that your understanding is correct.

3. Give verbal and nonverbal affirmations that you have heard and understood what the person has said.

If you're not already an excellent listener, try using these tips to improve your listening effectiveness and enhance your relationships and, perhaps, your revenue as well.

Your goal:

To improve your listening effectiveness.

The result:

You will be a much more effective communicator and you will strengthen your relationships in business and in your personal life.

Your assignment:

Reflect honestly on your last few conversations and evaluate your listening skills. Did you make the other person feel heard? Consciously practice the three tips above in at least one conversation per day until they have become a part of your natural skills.

Wishing You the Very Best!

Sandy Karn
Results Specialist