Home - Whispers Online Magazine for Women. Women's careers, style, health, finance, fashion, parenting, leisure, horoscopes, work, computing, travel, shopping, art and more...

Setting Personal Boundaries
Petrene Soames
Author of The Essence of Self-Healing

Petrene Soames is the author of The Essence of Self-Healing: How to bring health and happiness into your life (FleetStreet Publications - March 2001). She is a leading authority in healing and self-awareness, an inspirational speaker, a veteran television and radio guest featured in national and international press. She has worked successfully over the past 22 years as a consultant and therapist, helping others achieve their highest potential. Visit her web site at http://Timeismine.com or call (281) 363-9983.
The Essence of Self-Healing Focusing on the aspects of health that can be controlled, this guide to self-healing encourages self-confidence and empowerment. This book champions self-healing as a fresh alternative, exploring the reasons behind the tendency of many people toward self-sabotage, how one chooses to be ill, and how one can likewise choose to be well. It takes the approach that humans are not victims of illness and pain, but conscious participants in a reality that they can change, a realization that can lead to a healthier, happier lifestyle.

Perhaps I do not set as many personal boundaries as other people, and this can be seen as a weakness (the Fool may well be the Wise one in the end). The boundaries that I do set are generally for other people rather than for myself. Many people - it seems - need perimeters and rules, indeed boundaries to live in. Why is it at all different for me? I feel that the answer is that I do have inner depth of feelings and an awareness of who I am, therefore this also gives me real feelings of strength and security. I see that as humans we have somehow slipped into the belief that boundaries are necessary for order and self-preservation. The concept of boundaries itself helps people to feel individual, unique and important on a basic level, free even to express our personalities and all that we believe ourselves to be.

Boundaries, limits and limitations are taught from generation to generation rather than felt. Animals have hunting grounds and boundaries. We can easily trace this animalistic part of our nature, but do we need still to be applying it in modern times? Children - we are assured - need to learn about boundaries. This truth does appear to work so far, but how far? Boundaries do work without doubt for the materialistic and the egocentric, but why stop there?

I asked a few persons around me for their opinions on boundaries: a fourteen-year-old young man said that boundaries separate friends and friendships because of jealousy, and fights to change and control.

A twelve-year-old girl said that boundaries are unfair for everyone, "they stop everyone from doing what they want to do". And one adult said that "beyond boundaries lays the heart of human kind".

Is having children more than wanting something to love and control? Of course it can be. Why continue accepting what has always been? We could instead move on to a reality without boundaries, without assuming that everything will collapse. Envisage the positive instead of the negative. Create and allow ourselves to participate in a far more open, trusting, relaxed and joyful life experience. When you accept that you do not need boundaries, you realize and accept also that you do already have vast amounts of space, and that you can take, use or even just luxuriate in all that you need. Experience without boundaries is endless and there for us all.

I would say that when ALL stands still bathed in the light of each's uniqueness, others will watch in awe, lift up their heads and begin the journey forwards, home, to the heart of the self and the essence of being.

I would love to hear from others who would like to create and live in a world without boundaries and who know that they are ready now to move forward, to experience and create a new and different world.

Comment On This Work
[ 1 (Not for me) to 5 (Loved it) ]
1 2 3 4 5
Give a gift subscription of Whispers

Parenting & Family Books

Parenting With Love and Logic:

Teaching Children Responsibility

by Foster W. Cline
Jim Fay
Book Description: EFFECTIVE PARENTING-WITHOUT THE POWER STRUGGLES. As parents, you have only a few years to prepare your children for a world that requires responsibility and maturity for survival. That thought alone can send shivers down your parental spine!

The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy:

Or Everything Your Doctor Won't Tell You

by Vicki Iovine
Book Description: Your doctor gives you medical advice. Your mother buys you baby clothes. But who can give you the real skinny when you're pregnant? Your girlfriends, of course -- at least, the ones who've been through the exhilaration and exhaustion, the agony and ecstasy of pregnancy.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

by Adele Faber
Elaine Mazlish
Kimberly Ann Coe (Illustrator)
Book Description You Can Stop Fighting With Your Children. Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know-how you need to be more effective with your children--and more supportive of yourself.