Case Closed

I met my boyfriend on an online dating service four months ago. About a month ago I went to the dating service website to take my profile off. Out of curiosity I looked his up, and it was still there. When I mentioned it to him, he said he would take his profile off because he wanted to be with me.

Now I know I should have trusted him, but something told me to test him. So I created a fake profile with a picture of an attractive woman and e-mailed him as the other woman. When he didn't respond, I e-mailed again. He still didn't respond. I realized then he must have canceled his membership, so I looked him up on Instant Messenger and inquired if he was the guy on the dating site.

I told him I was new to the site, thought he was attractive, and maybe we could meet for a drink sometime. When I asked if he was seeing someone, he said he met someone who could be serious and had a lot of potential. I asked again if he wanted to meet, and eventually he said maybe.

That broke my heart. I got my girlfriend to phone him as the other girl. When she got him on the line, he was suspicious but hesitantly agreed to meet her for a drink. At that point I told him I was the girl who didn't exist. He said he thought it was either me or some kind of prank.

I am not a jealous person by any means, but I wonder if we can get past this.

Eva

Eva, the law does not permit entrapment. Entrapment occurs when the idea for a crime is suggested by the police, the police talk a person into committing the crime, and the person was not previously willing to commit the crime.

Once you realized your boyfriend canceled his membership you should have stopped. He is innocent of any crime, but you have proven you are by nature a jealous person.

Tamara

Teacher's Pet

I am 32 and a mom with two children. I've pretty much been single for two years. My problem is I found myself falling for my son's teacher. I never saw a ring on his finger, so last school year I made every attempt to visit my son's school as often as I could.

Eventually I took the chicken's way out and e-mailed this man and told him how I felt. He replied that he was flattered, we can remain friends, and he is my child's teacher. I e-mailed back saying I didn't know what I was doing and was not sure how uncomfortable things would be. He said it would be fine, no feelings hurt.

Once again he is teaching my child, and I still feel the same way. He is such a great man, so dedicated to the kids in his class. He is the man I want to get to know better. I have only seen him once this school year, but we often talk on the phone, though always about my son.

We get along so well and laugh like it is natural. Whether he is just being nice, I don't know. After this year he will no longer be my child's teacher. Is there any way for me to find out if he'd like to continue talking? I'm hoping for more. I've been hurt in the past, but with him it just feels so different, so right.

Anya

Anya, if you expect to have the right to say no and you want that listened to and respected, then you have to know he has the same right. He said no. When you get a no, you move on.

If your lottery ticket is one number off, it doesn't matter. As much as you would like it to be a winner, the numbers don't match and you don't have the winning ticket. There is no sense dwelling on it. Badgering him will make it less likely he will want to talk with you at all.

There is one great positive in this. You have come in contact with a good man with the characteristics you've been looking for. He has given you a model for what you want. You want a man who makes you feel like this one.

This teacher is teaching you a lesson. He has been patient with you. Show him that you have learned. As Thomas Carruthers said, "A teacher is one who makes himself progressively unnecessary."

Wayne & Tamara