THAILAND
by Myrna James

April 10-30, 1998

BANGKOK

Sawasdee-ka (Hello in Thai)! Thailand is truly an amazing place. Not since Melbourne have I been tempted to stay and stay somewhere, like I am here.

"Mai pen rai" is the first phrase people learn in Thailand. As the Australians have their expression that typifies the casual attitude, "no worries," so the Thai's say "mai pen rai," which essentially means the same thing, "never mind." It is the most well-known phrase in Thailand.

My friend Tom Quintero from San Francisco joined me for a few days in Bangkok and a week on the island. We were lucky enough to be in Bangkok for Songkran, Thai New Year! April 13 is the first day of the traditional Thai solar calendar. Songkran means "New Year" in Sanskrit, and the phrase for "Happy New Year" is "Won be mai" sounding strangely similar to the phrase from Star Wars, "Obi wan kenobi" as Tom pointed out! It was one of the best nights of the year! Traditionally, everyone throws water on everyone else, in the street, in stores, everywhere. It was steaming hot out, so the cold splash was actually welcome. On this holiday, Thai's usually return to their home villages, like Christmas for Christians, but not everyone. As Tom and I were walking around town, after taking a high-speed water taxi, we were approached by a young, darling Thai boy named Chan, who was about 22. He grinned constantly, asked what we had seen and recommended some sites. He stopped a tuk-tuk, a little open carriage like a rickshaw, to negotiate a good rate for us, and as we climbed in, we begged him to come with us. He began acting as our "guide" and Tom and I do not know to this day if he was a "tout" paid by the shops he took us to, such as Tommy Fashions in the Pomprab District. But he was such fun that we decided it doesn't matter. We enjoyed spending the day and evening with him. That evening we had a wonderful Thai meal overlooking the river with Holly from Chicago, whom we met at the hotel, and Chan. He kept saying, "Lice for everyone!" meaning rice, of course, in his Thai accent.

After dinner we joined the party in the street at Khao San Road, the famous place for travelers. There was some sort of pageant going on, with gorgeous dark local women in bright ornate flowing gowns gathering roses one by one. I cannot tell you who won or what her title was, but it was a lovely sight. All around the stage and until the wee hours of the morning, we danced and sang, drank Singha beer and got soaked, absolutely totally wringing wet. Most people had squirt guns or water bottles of all shapes and sizes. Prepared, I had on a swimsuit and wore one guy's underwater face mask for awhile! One strange thing happened with Chan. He proudly told us numerous times that his father is a cop in the Khao San Road area, and it's almost as if he was looking for trouble. He pointed aggressively at every guy I spoke with, accusing "You got problem?" Tom and I don't know if he was being unrealistically possessive with me or what. But check out this photo of the four of us! It is one of my favorites of the year! The holiday officially is Monday-Wednesday, April 13-15 but they begin celebrating the weekend before, and then for three more days. No wonder they were all so happy on Sunday evening!

In Bangkok, we stayed at the Royal Hotel, royalty for which it was not designed. It is, however, a good value as a budget hotel for about $25/night, and it has a swimming pool, which was such a luxury in that heat! (The number is (662) 222-9111-26. The address is Rajdamnern Avenue, Bangkok.) It was also nice to avoid the hostels on Khao San Road, yet be near that area, for easy money exchange, cheap food with surprisingly recent movies on TV in the little restaurants. (This movie showing is the latest marketing gimmick restaurants use to entice backpackers in for a meal.)

The economic situation in Thailand is interesting, of course, these days. The US dollar is now worth 39 baht. About 6 months ago, it was 50 baht, so things have improved in Thailand. However, in 1995 it was worth 25 baht, when things were not as volatile. It seems to me that things are not as cheap as people say. The economy is improving little by little.

Throughout Asia it is difficult to deal with the current financial situation. I am caught between feeling guilty for paying so little for most things, and feeling like I'm being ripped off, because usually you can get better prices, just by shopping around or negotiating further. As Alex Garland notes in his novel set in Thailand, The Beach, "I don't like dealing with money transactions in poor countries. I get confused between feeling that I shouldn't haggle with poverty and hating getting ripped off."

THE ISLAND: KOH SAMUI

The Thai islands are gorgeous, with the most beautiful sand beaches and water I have ever seen, including Australia and Bali. The weather is perfect, warm with low humidity. We stayed in beach bungalows, very nice ones right on the water in Chewang Beach. It was interesting and lively, and it has a tropical paradise feel. I was pleasantly surprised to find even the main beach, Chaweng Beach, to be peaceful and fairly uncommercialized. Each "resort" along the beach has its own quaint restaurant (a few also have small bars) with special lighting for the dusk dinner crowd, who may watch the moon rise and settle in its spot, projecting its power onto the sea, almost as an invitation to swim out to it.

Koh Samui is not known as the "in" island at the moment, according to the backpackers. They prefer more remote islands, such as Koh Phangan and Koh Tau. Samui island is more touristy, with bars and clubs and lots of shopping stalls along one unpaved pot-hole-ridden crowded street just behind the row of bungalows and restaurants on the beach. It is not easy to find the balance between over-priced resort and dirty dump in this area, but walking along the beach to find accommodation, where many bungalows are hidden, works better than looking on the main street behind. The beach side is where it's far more beautiful and natural.

Tom found us a spot at OP Bungalows, at the northern edge of Chaweng Beach. Our bungalow was really cute, with a small red fridge and air-conditioning and hot water. (It's at 111 Chaweng Beach, Koh Samui, Suratthani, 84320, Thailand, and the phone is (66-77) 422-424.) It was 1500 baht per night ($38). After almost a week, he left and I decided to downgrade to a fan and hot water for 600 baht/$15. No fridge and no air-conditioning! It's really hot but I'm hardly in the room anyway, right? Keep in mind that they have only had electricity here for about 6 years, and phones for 4 years, according to Pen and Dah, who've worked here for 13 years.

Being here is like being in a short time-warp, as most third world countries seem. They all have the old-fashioned Coke bottles, and everyone drinks Fanta, an orange cola also manufactured by Coca-Cola. There are very few nice cars, only jeeps and motorbikes, always dusty. It feels like the 70's and no wonder with Donna Summer and the Bee Gee's blaring in the bars. As in the 70's, popular culture was obsessed with the 50's, now in the 90's we are obsessed with the 70's.

The Thai people have truly lived up to all I'd heard about their friendliness. I had to walk in the sweltering heat about 2 miles to the post office, and local Thai's offered me rides almost immediately. I jumped into the back of a small pick-up truck with four local women who all smiled and wanted to test their English, saying "You my friend." After they dropped me at the corner, I jumped onto a motorbike with a skinny little guy whose barely comprehending grin was almost bigger than his face. I just showed him my letters and off we went.

Some situations are a bit more complicated. Thai's smile sometimes when there are problems. Smiling at problems is hard to understand and frustrating because it feels like they don't understand that a problem even exists. Their cultural tradition does not allow them to become aggressive or angry. Often, they will not admit that they don't know the answer to a question. I knew there was a problem when they wanted me to put postcard stamps on heavy letters with many photos, all going to the US. But I trusted them, and my letters went off. I learned later that they were going by sea and would arrive in 3 months if I was lucky! It is interesting to deal with; the most important thing for them is to "save face" and not ever get upset. They will answer your question with the response you want, to keep you happy, whether they know the answer or not. It's a lesson in patience for most westerners.

I became friends with Pen, a lady who has worked on the beach near OP Bungalows for 11 years. She gives massages and manicures and does hair. She cornrowed my hair into 54 braids. It took 1 ½ hours to braid, and two hours to take out! I paid what I think was way too much, 800 baht/$20; my massages were 200 baht/$5. I left the braids in for almost two weeks. It was much cooler during the day, and easy to wash, but you really give yourself away as a tourist with those braids. I actually looked like a dork, I think. Not quite Bo Derek, though I do have one heck of a tan.

Tom and I went scuba diving with a small company, Dive Point near Koh Tau, a nearby island. It was nice with lots of coral but few interesting fish. Unlike Australians, people in Thailand are not educated about how long it takes for coral to grow, and the importance of not touching coral. Most Thai's don't swim, so they walk on the coral in shallow water, damaging it. This was very noticeable on the dive. On the speedboat back, we passed the infamous genitalia rocks, penis and vagina. I kid you not, they look remarkably realistic, and are huge! I had heard about them, but had completely forgotten that they exist until they were there on a hillside staring me in the face. Such a strange place, Thailand, when it comes to sex. See next section, "The Strange Sex Industry" for more on that issue.

Tom and I went out with the divers that evening and I subsequently met most of the staff from Dive Point. The owners, Farid and Dany are very nice and Thorsten and Marc are lots of fun. (Dive Point's website is www.divepoint.com. The phone number on the island is 01-677-6133. They offer the full range of scuba diving options, instruction and certification.)

Tom and I also took in a night of Thai Kick Boxing. I loved the ceremony of it, with the beginning actually a slow choreographed dance to their native music, with about five old Thai men playing live below one corner of the ring. We saw "Green from England" box with "Chokedee from Thailand," and there were 7 additional fights that night. Many of them were very young boys, about eight or nine years old. Preparing for the matches, the competitors purposefully break their shins over and over to toughen them up. I also saw some of the older boys walking along the beach giving demonstrations promoting their fight night.

Here is a bit from my journal after my friend had left:

I am now sitting at a quiet restaurant on the beach, literally with my chair, table and bare feet in the sand. The white plastic table and chairs are stuck down in the sand, the tables are covered with floral pastel cloth, the corners of which float a bit in the breeze. Tiny white lights are strategically placed in green glowing plants. The barefoot waiters wear white smocks and black pants, though some have on jeans too. I think one may recognize me; I've eaten here a few times in the last week or so. I am alone for dinner tonight, enjoying the ocean breeze, fruity red wine, and solitude. My hair is in cornrows, and when other girls in cornrows saunter by, we smile knowingly at each other; we couldn't resist the Thai women's high-pitched voices all along the beach calling out one of the few phrases they know: "You want hai' beads? Bery nice for you." I am wearing a sarong as a skirt, fitting in, if not with the locals, at least with other tourists. I haven't seen many people in jean-shorts here. My meal here at Baan Thai includes all-you-want tomato-and-cucumber salad to start, asparagus cream soup, then their attempt at filet mignon complete with the bacon wrap. It's good but not quite Kansas corn-fed beef. With my glass of local wine, my meal is less than $4.

THE STRANGE SEX INDUSTRY

The common belief is that the sex industry here began because American G.I.'s arriving by the shipload on leave from Vietnam created the demand for sex bars and prostitutes. This situation undoubtedly increased demand, exacerbating a situation that already existed.

Now, still, everywhere are mixed couples, mostly older western men with Thai girls who usually work in the strip bars, or sex shows. This has expanded beyond Bangkok's Patpong area to the islands. The girls are prostitutes who add the usually nonexistent element of emotion, and the men often want to be their savior. They go home, then send letters, money, and promises to help. At am internet cafe on Koh Samui, I overheard two Thai girls reading a letter aloud from one of their men. "I miss you very much. I want to cry when I hear Elton John songs. I wish I could be there with you." The Thai girl was proud of this letter, but was laughing and making fun of it. The other Thai girl said, "It's too much" with disgust. These girls did not care about their "client."

On the beach, I met a "bar girl" who works in the sex shows in Bangkok. She was getting her hair cornrowed by Pen, and she was also on my flight back to Bangkok. Sopha was about 18 and was so sweet. I had read a few books on the situation of these women and status of women in general in Thailand, so was really happy to have the opportunity to speak with her. She told me that she had gone to the island with a boyfriend, who was from Germany and was undoubtedly a customer from Bangkok. She said he found another woman on Koh Samui. She said in halting English, "Girl must never let man in here (touching her heart), but this man I cry for." She is typical of the young girls who work in Patpong; she is basically naive, from a village and her family needs money. She supports many people at home and is treated like a celebrity when she goes home. She did not say so, but it seems that she is not happy doing this work. I did not ask her if she did it by choice, or if her family sold her to a brothel, as many do to 11- and 12-year-olds.

In Bangkok, I had the pleasure of meeting a missionary couple from America (their niece lives in my hometown, Hoxie, Kansas) who are working with young Thai girls, former prostitutes. They are teaching English, counseling and sharing God's word with them. One of their students is 11 years old and her parents sold her into a brothel, which is actually selling her into slavery and condoning rape. Children like her are the victims. They are the reasons for the concern and lack of understanding by outside cultures. The economic power of this industry should not take away the young girls' individual right to choose how to live, no matter how many family members she is supporting in her home village.

This situation is partly because women truly do not have the rights that men do in Thailand. According to the 1805 Law of the Three Seals, a man is entitled to three wives, his Major, Minor and Slave wives. When Thai women marry, they become servants to the husband's family. This double standard is played out in many ways: Women cannot divorce on the grounds of adultry; men can. Women cannot leave the country or set up a business without the husband's consent. These people believe that sex with a virgin gives the man long life, but it "spoils" the girl. And it's not just an issue of an unfair double standard. It's a complicated historical situation involving classism, sexism and dominance: sexual issues, but as importantly, economical and social issues for these women. Religion plays a part as well. Men are required as Buddhists to become monks at some point in their lives. Some boys do so at about 20 years of age, but some get married and wait. When they become monks later in life, it puts even more pressure on the woman to support the family economically.

These factors contribute to the decisions of many women to become prostitutes. They will do whatever they can to have economic independence and thereby social freedom to not be dependent on men. Working in the Patpong area of Bangkok, or any other area where there is market sex, is a symbol of privilege to them. Many feminists condone prostitution, arguing that women have the right to be prostitutes if it's by choice, and the importance of these women having their independence outweighs any moral question.

On the other hand, if they have been forced into this life, or chosen it at about 15, lured by a sort of glamour they saw in older girls who returned to their home villages with nice clothes, like Sopha may have been, they may be miserable. Many may not want this life. They may find it difficult to have normal lives later, especially in this society of double standards.

This is the first difficult issue I have encountered while travelling, where I must not judge the people. Cultures and values that are different from my own are hard to understand, but my culture's values may not apply there. This is the most difficult thing for a traveller to do - learn about other cultures, but not judge them, or try to "correct" them. I do not know what it would be like to grow up as a small girl in a remote jungle village in Thailand. And I will never know.

Myrna left the professional world of national magazine ad sales in Chicago to travel around the world! She sought eternal truths and true beauty, and found them. She left in January 1998, going to Australia, New Zealand, around Asia (Japan, China) then to Thailand and Nepal. The rest of the year was in Europe, mostly Turkey. She returned in December, then left again for five more months to do Habitat for Humanity Global Village in New Zealand and Alaska in 1999. She now resides in Denver, Colorado, near her hometown of Hoxie, Kansas.

You can visit Myrna's web site at www.GoGlobalGirl.com, and email Myrna at mljames@attglobal.net