I've come back after almost two weeks away (business-then-vacation), and the question of the week is "How was your vacation?" It used to be such an easy question -- "It was TERRIFIC--we played and caroused and RELAXED--I'm all refreshed and ready to jump back into work!" But that was BEFORE, two kids (age 3 and age 6 months) ago...

Now it is so much more complicated...well, let's see, "It was great, we had a good time, no major catastrophes, I'm EXHAUSTED--can I get back to you in a week or so?" After 11 adventurous days with my beautiful, wonderful, very active young children, I feel as if I really need 11 days more to rest up from the vacation! So, how to answer? How much do people REALLY want to know about the reality of traveling with kids?

Our itinerary was 11 days--from home in Atlanta, Georgia to San Diego, California for 4 days (Mommy had some business meetings and a conference to attend), and then to L.A. to board a cruise ship for 7 days in Mexico. It sounded simple enough, and it seemed like such a great idea to take the family along and turn it into a real vacation. (Does anybody else hear hysterical laughing in the background?)

We won't go into the specifics of packing for a trip like this, except to say--start early, make lists, make time for lots of 'last' little trips to the store for that 'one thing'. And remember--generally, wherever you are going--there are stores, there are coin-op washers and dryers and/or laundry service. To put the rest of the story in context for this trip, just so you know--I overpacked, Big Time, nothing like having to worry about 2 adults, 2 kids, and 10 pieces of baggage and equipment to/from the airport, in/out of taxi cabs, rental cars, and shuttles, in/out of hotels, on/off a ship.

We started with less, but came home with: 2 large suitcases, 1 garment bag, 2 carseats (in 1 special carseat tote), 1 stroller/backpack thing (Evenflo), 1 small toiletry carry-all bag, 1 duffle bag (souveneirs, books, and stuff that we had nowhere else to stuff it), 1 carry-on backpack/diaper bag, 1 child's backpack, AND 1 laptop computer (which was laughable to take in the first place, along with two books each for Mommy & Daddy-- barely even opened!).

Airplanes: Fortunately we had a ride to the airport, in a station wagon, and thank goodness for curbside check-in! Our flight schedule turned out to be very good with the children--we flew out about noon on a weekday, and came back on a late afternoon flight on Sunday. The Sunday flight was much less crowded and we had more room than the weekday flight, which was absolutely full and cramped.

It is much, much easier to fly during the day with children than trying to fly red-eye because you 'think' the children will sleep--they won't, and everybody else who does want to sleep gets pretty annoyed with wide-awake hyped-up kids (including the very tired parents). It is best to fly when YOU are fresh, and maybe have a chance that they will 'crash' for naptime, but don't expect it.

Be prepared to enjoy the full adventure--from visiting the lavatory at least three times (per hour), to the serving of the peanuts and soda and meal, to the thorough investigation of every single item in the seatback in front of you, including the barf bag and the headset thingy (to listen in briefly--to the music and the in-flight movie). The best toys and activities we've found to fill in--window-cling stickers, a walkman and kid-tapes/read-alongs for the 3 year-old, and a compact little activity cube for the baby.

Other airplane notes:

Don't forget to have a bottle and/or a sippy cup for drinking during take off and landing (for the kids!) -- helps with the ear pops.

Be sure to ask ahead for the special 'kid meals'.

The bulkhead may not always be the best seats because the armrests don't go up-- better to have a full row to yourselves and be able to spread out.

You are truly blessed if you have flight attendants that will take your kids up to visit the pilot--a Huge Treat!--remember to send the camera along as well!

Finally, the instant you set foot in the baggage terminal to collect your suitcases and equipment -- find a porter!

We have always traveled 'economy class' B.C. (Before Children). It used to be that we would walk 6 miles, carrying 100lbs apiece before having to give out a couple of dollars to tip anybody for anything ("That's like just throwing away a Margarita!"). It amazes me still that even though we are still on a skinny budget, at this point, I will chase someone down to pay them to help--anything to make it a little quicker and easier with the kids!!

Rental cars: This was one of the Big Learning Experiences of this trip. From now on, we will belong to one of the major auto rental company's special privilege clubs and go with who we know and know what we can expect. We had previously traveled with one child and had been fortunate to enjoy a Dodge Intrepid with an integrated childseat from Budget--we had plenty of room, and we didn't have to worry about carrying along a carseat.

Although we made special arrangements to have a similar vehicle (or anything with an integrated childseat), so that we would only have to take one carseat, we arrived at Hertz (booked through the travel agent) to a Ford Taurus with no integrated childseat, and a grungy, roughed-up, unsafe-looking small carseat (that we were supposed to put our 3 year old in)--NOT! We drove away (after quite a delay with requisite scene and frustration) crammed into that little Taurus with the 3 year old under a seatbelt. We drove to a Target and bought a suitable booster carseat that we then had to cart all over and home with us (still, well worth the $20).

One more note here -- before you leave the car rental office, particularly if you are not returning the car to the same location, make sure you have the address, directions, and a good map to find the location where you are supposed to return the car! We assumed that was on the rental contract, and since we had wasted enough time and stress at the office over the carseat, we left the San Diego rental office. Four days later, we drove to Long Beach, California, in the general direction of the cruise terminal, got hopelessly lost, and had no idea where we were supposed to take the car and how we would then get us (and our 10 pieces of baggage and equipment) to the ship.

After many increasingly frantic phone calls from a payphone (we had no idea where we were), we finally got general directions to the correct Long Beach Airport (there are at least two), found a gas station, bought a map, made it to the airport, transferred to a cab for a $40 ride to the cruise terminal and made it on the ship with less than an hour before departure.

We were all a bit stressed out, tired, and hungry at this point, but the good thing about getting on so late was that there were no lines or crowds in the terminal, check-in was a breeze, and our luggage (en masse) was delivered to our cabin almost immediately. (Last in, first out).

Cruising with children:

I think it is a Law of Nature that requires a cruise passenger (or 4 of them, in this case, with 10 pieces of luggage:) to stand at the door of their teeny, tiny little cabin and say "Oh My G--! HOW are we going to get everything IN, much less live in here for a week?!" And we did (both!). That first day, when everything was IN the cabin, we barely had room to breathe, much less move, but by the end of the cruise, we were actually settled in quite comfortably, and even somewhat organized with our 2 tiny little closets and 4 desk drawers--then we had to pack it all up again (and all the little purchases and souveneirs, too), and do the whole thing in reverse!

A cruise vacation with children actually works out pretty well compared to other things we could have done. At least on the cruise, we had a 'home' and we got to know the people around us (other passengers, room stewards, dining room service, etc.) and they got to know and love our children (really!). You can probably imagine how popular and how much attention two fairly well-behaved children under the age of 5 would receive on a ship filled with 2000 captive targets, many of whom were over the age of 60 and were drawn to the children (very, very sweet grandparent types), and many, many of the crew were young people who had very young children at home (India, Turkey, Europe, Russia) that they do not get to see for 6 months at a time. Zach & Haleigh had no end of friends and attention--even a few other families brave enough to cruise with kids!

Other people's responses to our having taken our children with us on the cruise vary from admiration, sympathy, and open shock and disbelief. Even, "You're nuts--we left ours at home!" That's okay. It is definitely more work and less relaxation for Mommy & Daddy, but as the older people kept reminding us again and again-- "They are only young once, and the time passes so very quickly:" And we had a great time!

Other cruise notes:

I don't know that we would cruise again with an 'under-one'--lots of hassle having to bring formula, baby food, and all the equipment.

Be sure to check for kid programs onboard--last year we cruised with Celebrity and their kid program begins at age 3; this year we were on Royal Caribbean--program starts at age 6! (We didn't know this until we were already onboard:)

Fortunately, you can usually arrange babysitting services--$8/hour extra, but well worth it so Mommy & Daddy could go out for a few hours every night after dinner and enjoy the shows and dancing. We took the kids to the last night's entertainment--the baby loved it, the 3 year old was asleep before the opening number!

Sleeping arrangements are not a big deal with kids--we always take a kid-size sleeping bag along. This time, we made a pallet on the floor next to the bed (surrounded by pillows) and the baby slept on the floor, while the 3 year old slept on a pull-down bunk above us (again -- lots of pillows!). The cruise ship did have cribs available, but we had no place to put it in our little cabin!

Dinners/Meals: Anytime you take kids out and hope that they are going to stay seated and quiet for any length of time--plan ahead and be prepared! We have always had success by using the 'Special Surprise' (bribe) approach--we stash the diaper bag with several small toys or things to keep them busy: crayons, Matchbox cars, little puzzles and games, pretty much anything that comes out of those quarter gumball/prize machines (except candy) in the plastic bubble is good for at least 10 - 15 minutes.

Travel with kids can be a lot of fun and richly rewarding--sometimes it all seems just so much more exciting and wonderful from a kid's point of view! Probably most important, you have to go into the adventure with a totally different mindset than when you used to go B.C. If you go expecting to be able to do all the things you did before, just like you did when you didn't have to worry about little legs, naptime, diapers, and 10-minute attention spans, you will most likely be very stressed out and disappointed. But if you take it easy, enjoy every minute, and go determined to have fun (regardless if you don't get the right car, or you get lost, or things get a little messy:), you will find yourself truly enjoying quality time with your children and family.

Sherri Caldwell is a "mom-preneur" in Atlanta, GA, with two children, two dogs and two businesses between herself and her entrepreneur husband. Visit Sherri online at http://www.mindspring.com/~elixir/success or emailto:elixir@mindspring.comelixir@mindspring.com.